A Delicate Balance

Jayne is SO easy to love... She is happy pretty much all the time, gives the best hugs and slobbery baby open-mouth kisses, is so easy-going and flexible about her schedule and to top it all off--she is so stinking cute!!! When Jayne cries, I jump, because it doesn't happen all that often. I love that she is so easy going and content and can play on her own but it also means that I have to make a conscious effort to stop and play with her because my list of "t0-dos" just keeps growing. She is not demanding of my time and Elle and Easton are and it is easy to get busy doing a craft with one of them, making a meal or yet another snack, or tackling the never ending pile of laundry, while Jayne plays with her toys, hugs her stuffed dog, Violet, or looks through her favorite books.


I used to worry like crazy about her development and what she wasn't doing yet. It consumed me and made me sad and a little bitter. I'm trying not to worry as much. I know the walking will come, eventually. It is so nice to be ok with the fact that Jayne is at a different pace. People used to always tell me how fun it was that Jayne would stay a baby longer. I used to hate that because, to me, it was just a reminder of how behind she was going to be. Now, I understand what they meant. I love this age. I love that I get to keep her a baby a little longer. I love every second I spend with her and love to kiss her little cheeks or have her little arms around my neck and hear her little giggle. She makes our whole family so happy!


I'm finally OK with Jayne's pace. I am so proud of every little step and accomplishment she makes. I have a new appreciation for all that babies have to learn and what a miracle it all is. Most kids just get it on their own. They figure out how to lift their knee to pull up to stand. They learn how to push off while standing to get back to sit. They figure out how to pull their knees in to start crawling. These are all things that we have to show Jayne how to do. But she is getting it...and we are so proud. She is taking off and getting around the house! Go Jayne!!!


Having said all that--I have learned that in order to stay in my "lucky place" there is a delicate balance. I can't worry like I used to. Jayne will get it all in due time. At the same time, I have to worry just a little bit. I have to stop being busy and not only play with my sweet baby but encourage her to practice her standing, remind her again how to push up to sit the right way instead of by doing the splits, and help her crawl up the stairs. I know she will be able to do all the things that my other kids do, but I also know that I can help her get there. I want to help her get there. But I also want to be a part of making dinosaur books with Easton and doing beads with Elle. (I really wish I could be in three places at once. That would be a cool super hero power.)
It really is a very delicate balance...

Jayne practicing standing against my legs