Truth or Childhood?

I sort of blew it! Every year since Elle was 2, "Lucy the Leprechaun" has come to our house on St. Patrick's Day. Since leprechauns are mischievous, she leaves a mess and then leaves a little treasure hunt for the kids. Even though it makes them a little nervous thinking a little leprechaun comes in our house, they LOVE it and look forward to it every year. Easton sets crazy traps and then they wait very impatiently for Lucy to leave her trademark mess and the first clue for their treasure hunt. It is so much fun!

This year, St. Patrick's Day was a little crazy. We just had a lot going on so I knew "Lucy" wouldn't make it until Elle got home from school. I put a movie on for the kids thinking it would keep them busy for a minute and then walked down stairs to leave a clue for the treasure hunt. Elle turned the corner and started walking upstairs at the exact same time and saw me holding a clue in my hand. I froze. She looked at me, knew exactly what it was I was holding in my hand, and said, "You mean there is no Leprechan?" I motioned for her to come up stairs quickly and immediately started saying, "I'm so sorry Elle. I'm so sorry." I wish I had been quicker on my toes and had thought of some reason as to why I was hiding the clues, but I didn't. Why didn't I think if anything? And for a second I wondered if maybe Elle was ready to know the truth. Boy, was I wrong. We walked into the office and sat down and I will NEVER forget her face at that moment. It was a look of total and complete disappointment. It would have been easier if she was mad or even sad. There were no tears, just TOTAL disappointment. I felt awful! How could I take that magic away from her already? I know she had to find out sooner or later but the look on her face showed me that she wasn't ready for that yet. I totally blew it! She started telling me all these reasons as to why there must a leprechaun--about how a leprechaun turned Jeremy's dad's toes green and how her friends had leprechauns come to their houses too and it couldn't have been the parents because they were sleeping. She told me that a leprechaun came to their classroom and left treats. Was that not real either? I felt horrible! I was torn between telling her the truth, now that she sort of knew, or letting her hold on to that magic a little longer. I told her that there could be leprechauns but that mommy and daddy did the treasure hunt at our house because we love our kids and want to make things fun for them.

Then, as if things couldn't get worse, Easton walked upstairs and wondered what was going on. Elle looked at me and said, "Mom, you should really tell him," like I was hiding this awful secret. Easton said, "What? Tell me! Don't keep secrets from me!" I said, "Elle, please don't." She said, "Mom, he needs to know the truth." "Please don't Elle." Thankfully, I convinced Elle that this wasn't the time. A few hours later, the dust had settled. The good part--Elle's happy eyes came back. The bad part--Elle is pretty smart and started connecting Leprechauns to the Easter Bunny and Santa. That is what I was afraid of. After a few guilty tears, on my part, a whole bunch of questions regarding the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus and some very vague answers, we sort of left it up to her. We told her that everyone gets to decide what they believe. I just couldn't ruin it for her. I think she is a little skeptical of the Easter Bunny but I think we still have Santa, at least for now. Luckily, after much persuading, Elle decided that she didn't want to ruin the fun of Leprechauns for Easton or her school friends. I think she thinks it is kind of neat to be in on the "secret" and she is excited to help us with "Lucy" next year.

As hard as it was seeing Elle so disappointed, I'm just so glad she got to have the "magic" of Lucy as long as she did and hopefully we can hold on to Santa a little longer. I think that is a big part of childhood--the magic, wonder, imagination and believing in something as wonderful as someone who drives a magic sleigh with flying reindeer and delivers presents to all the kids in the world in one night. We have our whole lives to figure out the "truth" about everything and it can be pretty ugly sometimes. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all believed in Santa Claus and if there was a little more magic...

Lucy the Leprechaun did end up coming and the treasure hunt was still a lot of fun. Easton loved it and I think Elle did too, although she kept looking over at me and giving me this funny little "I know a secret" smile. Who doesn't love a treasure hunt?



Green chocolate chip pancakes for "Lucky Day" breakfast



Looking for clues



Finding the treasure
(We made the mistake of giving a small toy when Elle was little, thinking we didn't want to give candy to her. Big mistake. Now that is what they expect from Lucy. Candy would be much easier.)



Jayne loves her little Strawberry Shortcake doll and kept giving her kisses






The kids with their treasure from Lucy


Happy St. Patrick's Day! Hopefully, next year's "Lucky Day" will be a little luckier and I will learn to be a lot sneakier!

Play time and playdough

Easton loves Legos and built some horses and a corral to put them in. Such a cute little guy!


Such a girl all dressed up with her purse and phone up to her ear



Our little witch and pirate--they are so imaginative and have so much fun together!



Look how awesome Jayne is doing "vacuuming" with only one hand! Hopefully soon she won't need anything to hold onto when she walks.





Elle and Easton love play dough and I'm sure Jayne will too--once she stops trying to eat it. How funny is Jayne's new "cheese" smile?



One of our favorite things is family movie night. We've watched some "oldies but goodies" with the kids that they have loved. Some of their favorites have been the "Herbie" series, The Sound of Music and the American Girl Doll movies. Thank goodness for Netflix! Jayne's favorite part of family movie night? Definitely the popcorn! I couldn't even get her to look up to take a picture. She LOVES popcorn!



Elle and Easton were so excited to sleep in their sleeping bags in the basement together. Of course they had on their Star War pajamas, slept on Star Wars pillow cases and had a stack of Star Wars book set out to read. I think they sort of like Star Wars...



Jayne loves the piano! I love seeing her cute little fingers plunk on the keys.

Spring Fever

Mother Nature has been teasing us lately--a couple of days of spring weather and then back to snow and cold. As much fun as it is to play in the snow, we are totally ready for spring! Please come soon!!!


Easton and Jayne looked so cute watching the snow fall...


But this time of year, we are anxious for bike rides, park days, swing set giggles and playing outside barefoot.







(Jayne loved getting her feet all dirty in the bark)

Hurry Spring!

Starting to Walk!

Jayne has finally starting to take some steps!!! And you'll never guess what got her to try...

Jayne LOVES music! She insists on having music on in the car and will request "Belle" (Beauty and the Beast) every time. She loves when we sing silly songs with motions and she giggles and claps. She loves to dance and will move her body back and forth or wave her arms around. It is adorable! But the other day, when she asked for music and we started to dance, instead of just waving her arms, she stood up and walked a few steps. I couldn't believe it! She fell, laughed, got back up again and walked a few more steps. It was the cutest thing ever! We were all so excited! Jayne was having a blast with Elle and Easton and I didn't want the moment to end so we kept on "dancing" for as long as she wanted to! She was so proud of herself and I couldn't stop smiling and cheering my little girl on. I guess she thinks that dancing is walking, like when we do "Ring around the rosy." We're going to go with it and do a lot more booty shakin' at our house. After feeling pretty discouraged lately, this was a definite victory! We may have found the right motivation to get Jayne walking...our little girl loves to dance!!!

Growing up too fast!

I am so in love with my little boy! I'm not sure if it's his smiley eyes, mischievious little grin or his funny little sense of humor, but I'm hooked. He is such a good boy and I love our time together. I love playing games, reading books, doing crafts, making treats and just talking with him. I love his funny faces he makes. I love that he will say "thank you" just out of the blue. I love that he still wants me to lay by him before he falls asleep and we play our little game of "Do I love you this much?" He is such a sweet, tender-hearted, funny little boy. So, when I got a letter the other day announcing the date for Kindergarten Orientation, I almost started to cry. He goes to preschool now but going to Kindergarten means he is getting way too big. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were teaching him to lift his arms in the air and do "So big!" It has gone way too fast... He is so excited to go to school with Elle and I am excited for him but the selfish part of me wants to keep him home with me. So, I am reminded once again to enjoy every single moment. The days are sometimes long but the years, well, they just fly by...





How cute is Easton as a cowboy and after coloring himself to look like a bird? (He was not happy that he had to wash the marker off)


Easton has said some pretty funny things lately..
He told me that he wished he had a button on his face to turn off his ears so he didn't have to hear Jayne cry.
He colored a picture of George Washington in preschool and when I asked him what he learned about him, he said, "You know what's cool about George Washington? He never told a lie." I said, "So you mean he was always honest?" He said "Yeah, he is kind of like Jesus...except he's not."

Ice Castles

We drove to Midway to see the Ice Castles with Foxes and had a lot of fun. It was so crazy walking through these huge icicle formations. They were amazing! The trail winds around 30 towers and there is no underlying structure--pure ice. How cool is that? Elle, Easton and Ava were so cute wandering around together. And even though I almost slipped a million times on the ice, I loved it!




Our family







Foxes

A little bit discouraged...

I'm a little bit discouraged...I have accepted the fact that Jayne may not be on the same time line for reaching milestones as my other kids. I knew she wouldn't be walking by the time she was one. For some reason though, I put this idea in my head that Jayne would walk by the time she was two. I had heard somewhere that two was the average for kids with Down Syndrome to walk so I thought it was a reasonable goal. Jayne turned two and she wasn't walking. So then I thought it would happen for sure in the next month or two. Nope. Her therapists say she's close. But she's been "close" for a while now. She has the strength. She has the balance. It's all a matter of her deciding she really wants to. In other words--finding the right motivation. But, how do you motivate a two year old? A sweet, cautious, adorable, stubborn two year old? She's perfectly content scooting around on her bum or walking along furniture to get places.

I know it will come...eventually. But the wondering and waiting is sometimes hard. And I can't help but wonder if motivation is really the issue. The thought that maybe there's more I should be doing keeps creeping into my head. Maybe I'm missing something. I try to work with her and encourage her whenever I can. (We play Ring-around-the-rosy, walk with a hula hoop or stuffed animal while I hold the other side, bounce on a stability ball for more core strength and balance, and have plenty of toys she can push while walking.) But I have two other kids, a husband and a household that I need to take care of too. I do my best. But what if that's not enough?

I know I shouldn't be so anxious because I do love that she has stayed a baby longer. I love that she still lets me hold and cuddle her. I love playing with her and want to enjoy every minute because I know it will go fast. I know that I will look back 2 years from now and long for these days. But I can't wait for that victory when Jayne walks across the room. I can't wait to see her face when she realizes she is doing it on her own. And, I can't wait for that feeling of relief knowing that our efforts do make a difference. We need those little victories. They give us hope. It is in those moments that I feel like we really did make it to Italy.
I mean, we absolutely love Holland. Who wouldn't? It is a beautiful place. But it's nice to visit Italy sometimes too.