A little bit discouraged...

I'm a little bit discouraged...I have accepted the fact that Jayne may not be on the same time line for reaching milestones as my other kids. I knew she wouldn't be walking by the time she was one. For some reason though, I put this idea in my head that Jayne would walk by the time she was two. I had heard somewhere that two was the average for kids with Down Syndrome to walk so I thought it was a reasonable goal. Jayne turned two and she wasn't walking. So then I thought it would happen for sure in the next month or two. Nope. Her therapists say she's close. But she's been "close" for a while now. She has the strength. She has the balance. It's all a matter of her deciding she really wants to. In other words--finding the right motivation. But, how do you motivate a two year old? A sweet, cautious, adorable, stubborn two year old? She's perfectly content scooting around on her bum or walking along furniture to get places.

I know it will come...eventually. But the wondering and waiting is sometimes hard. And I can't help but wonder if motivation is really the issue. The thought that maybe there's more I should be doing keeps creeping into my head. Maybe I'm missing something. I try to work with her and encourage her whenever I can. (We play Ring-around-the-rosy, walk with a hula hoop or stuffed animal while I hold the other side, bounce on a stability ball for more core strength and balance, and have plenty of toys she can push while walking.) But I have two other kids, a husband and a household that I need to take care of too. I do my best. But what if that's not enough?

I know I shouldn't be so anxious because I do love that she has stayed a baby longer. I love that she still lets me hold and cuddle her. I love playing with her and want to enjoy every minute because I know it will go fast. I know that I will look back 2 years from now and long for these days. But I can't wait for that victory when Jayne walks across the room. I can't wait to see her face when she realizes she is doing it on her own. And, I can't wait for that feeling of relief knowing that our efforts do make a difference. We need those little victories. They give us hope. It is in those moments that I feel like we really did make it to Italy.
I mean, we absolutely love Holland. Who wouldn't? It is a beautiful place. But it's nice to visit Italy sometimes too.