An unexpected hug

The other day, while the kids were having fun with Grandma, Don and I decided to run some errands. I was in a store when a little boy ran up to me, wrapped his arms around my legs and gave me a big hug. It caught me off guard but it was the cutest thing and I never turn down hugs. I expected that as soon as he looked up and saw that I was a stranger, he would run away. This has happened before with other kids who have grabbed onto me thinking I was their momma and then got a little scared when they realized I wasn't. But, this time was different. He looked up and gave me the biggest smile and kept hugging my legs. I immediately recognized those sweet almond eyes and knew that he had a little something extra, just like my Jayne. And then I felt that love that I feel every time I see a child with Down Syndrome. I was drawn to him. His brother, probably about 10 years old, came running up and said "I'm so sorry." I smiled at him and said, "It's OK. I have a little girl that is 2 that has Down Syndrome." Then he said, "Oh, so you understand." I definitely understand. I understand the incredible love that children with Down Syndrome have to give. I understand the joy and sometimes frustration of raising a child with special needs. But mostly, I understand how blessed we are to have Jayne in our family. I was so grateful to this little boy for reminding me just how lucky I am. I wanted to pick him up and give him a real hug...and so after asking his mom if it was ok, I did.

It was such a little thing but it made my whole week!!!

(This sweet little boy was 5 years old and had just been adopted by a very loving family. How lucky are they?)

Starting to Walk!

Jayne has finally starting to take some steps!!! And you'll never guess what got her to try...

Jayne LOVES music! She insists on having music on in the car and will request "Belle" (Beauty and the Beast) every time. She loves when we sing silly songs with motions and she giggles and claps. She loves to dance and will move her body back and forth or wave her arms around. It is adorable! But the other day, when she asked for music and we started to dance, instead of just waving her arms, she stood up and walked a few steps. I couldn't believe it! She fell, laughed, got back up again and walked a few more steps. It was the cutest thing ever! We were all so excited! Jayne was having a blast with Elle and Easton and I didn't want the moment to end so we kept on "dancing" for as long as she wanted to! She was so proud of herself and I couldn't stop smiling and cheering my little girl on. I guess she thinks that dancing is walking, like when we do "Ring around the rosy." We're going to go with it and do a lot more booty shakin' at our house. After feeling pretty discouraged lately, this was a definite victory! We may have found the right motivation to get Jayne walking...our little girl loves to dance!!!

A little bit discouraged...

I'm a little bit discouraged...I have accepted the fact that Jayne may not be on the same time line for reaching milestones as my other kids. I knew she wouldn't be walking by the time she was one. For some reason though, I put this idea in my head that Jayne would walk by the time she was two. I had heard somewhere that two was the average for kids with Down Syndrome to walk so I thought it was a reasonable goal. Jayne turned two and she wasn't walking. So then I thought it would happen for sure in the next month or two. Nope. Her therapists say she's close. But she's been "close" for a while now. She has the strength. She has the balance. It's all a matter of her deciding she really wants to. In other words--finding the right motivation. But, how do you motivate a two year old? A sweet, cautious, adorable, stubborn two year old? She's perfectly content scooting around on her bum or walking along furniture to get places.

I know it will come...eventually. But the wondering and waiting is sometimes hard. And I can't help but wonder if motivation is really the issue. The thought that maybe there's more I should be doing keeps creeping into my head. Maybe I'm missing something. I try to work with her and encourage her whenever I can. (We play Ring-around-the-rosy, walk with a hula hoop or stuffed animal while I hold the other side, bounce on a stability ball for more core strength and balance, and have plenty of toys she can push while walking.) But I have two other kids, a husband and a household that I need to take care of too. I do my best. But what if that's not enough?

I know I shouldn't be so anxious because I do love that she has stayed a baby longer. I love that she still lets me hold and cuddle her. I love playing with her and want to enjoy every minute because I know it will go fast. I know that I will look back 2 years from now and long for these days. But I can't wait for that victory when Jayne walks across the room. I can't wait to see her face when she realizes she is doing it on her own. And, I can't wait for that feeling of relief knowing that our efforts do make a difference. We need those little victories. They give us hope. It is in those moments that I feel like we really did make it to Italy.
I mean, we absolutely love Holland. Who wouldn't? It is a beautiful place. But it's nice to visit Italy sometimes too.

Our little girl

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend at the gym and she was asking about Jayne. She asked about Jayne's health and wondered if she was walking yet. I told her that Jayne wasn't walking yet but was close. Then she asked, "So, is it just a challenge everyday?" I said, "Honestly, I am just so thankful for Jayne everyday." It just came out and it is the truth. I am SO thankful for Jayne every day. She is such a blessing to our family and I am grateful for all that she has taught us and continues to teach us. I am grateful for the joy that she brings into our home and her sweet nature. I am grateful for her hugs and kisses and little laugh. She keeps us grounded, reminds us of what really matters and helps us to enjoy even the little things. Of course it is still hard at times. There are definitely still days when I wonder what I'm doing and how I will ever be able to help Jayne enough. There are still moments when I want to cry because her differences have just been made very clear. Sometimes it is hard...

But when I think of Jayne, I don't think of her as a challenge. I truly do think of her as an incredible blessing for all of us and all that know her. When Jayne was first born, I had a hard time accepting the fact that she has Down Syndrome. Every time I thought about it, my eyes would fill up with tears. Now, almost two years later, I still get all teary eyed when I think about Jayne-- but now, it is not because I am sad but because of how far we've come and how grateful we are for her.

The moment Jayne was born, I thought that our life would never be the same because we had a child with Down Syndrome. I was right...but now I know that's not a bad thing. Jayne is just Jayne and she is beautiful! We love our little girl!

(This video has been circulating and I just love it so I had to share)